A [not so] perfect birth story

A lot of friends and family have had questions about exactly what happened during Madison's birth, so here it goes.

As many as you know, Jeff and I both really admire natural births. We sought out midwives because we wanted to avoid any unnecessary medical interventions.

Our first family photo

Of course, Madison went breech, forcing us to have a c-section. Before the c-section began, doctors did an OR procedure where they pushed on my belly from the outside to try and forcibly move her. The procedure failed and the c-section began. 

So, having to give up our hopes of a beautiful, natural childbirth, we continued with the c-section. The c-section went well, without any complications, and Madison was born with no complications. Of course, I couldn't hold madison after she was born, so I couldn't stop yelling at Jeff to "get back here with my baby!" 

I couldn't hold madison after the c-section,
 so Jeff held her to my face so I could kiss her

Fast Forward two hours after the c-section was over, and I finally was able to hold madison for the first time. Right as Jeff handed her to me, I felt a rush of blood draining from my face, and I started shivering. The nurse checked me, and her face turned to panic. She told me that bleeding was normal after giving birth, but I was hemorrhaging blood. 

She stepped out into the hall to call in my OB. When she came back to check me, she found baseball-sized clots that I had passed. The entire time, I was blissfully unaware of the seriousness of the situation because I was finally holding my baby. Poor Jeff was freaking out, and he finally convinced me to let the nurses take her back to the nursery when my blood pressure dropped to 90/40. 

My first time holding madison,
right as I began hemorrhaging.

I finally realized the seriousness of the situation when my doctor arrived. He had left another patient who was in the middle of delivering her baby to come check on me. When his face looked even more worried than the nurses, I started to panic a little.

At this point, I had lost 4 liters of blood - and there are only about 5.5 liters in the human body. The doctor told us that they had no idea where the bleeding was coming from, or how they would stop it. Jeff and I both started to panic, and maybe we were being naive, but we both took a few minutes to tell each other how much we loved each other. Just in case.

They rushed me back into the OR, thinking they would need to re-open my incision. Before that, they reached into my uterus and scraped out the clots. Jeff watched everything and said they pulled out clots the size of grapefruits. 

Luckily, they were able to get the bleeding under control. Unfortunately, it was at this point that they had to give me Pitocin to continue to stop the bleeding. For those of you who don't know, pitocin is a medicine given to women to induce labor. 

So at this point, after 3 OR procedures in 5 hours, and after having already having a baby, I started to go into labor. The contractions were worse than anything I could imagine. Normal contractions are painful, but  contractions on a uterus that has been cut into and stitched up and extremely inflamed are... unbelievable. 

I don't remember much after that, but Jeff stayed up all night watching me, and he said that I would wake up every 5 minutes from having a contraction in pain, and the instant it ended I would pass out. 

Recovery has been hard, but so worth it! And Jeff and I have just been appreciating every moment together. My midwives even said that had Jeff and I attempted to have a home birth, I wouldn't have even made it to the hospital before passing away. Thank goodness Madison was a breech baby, it saved my life. Everything happens for a reason, and God answered our prayers. 

PS - Madison has been such an easy baby that it (almost) makes up for everything we went through. I Love my little family so much.