Gay Mormons

(*yes, they exist.)

I had the great opportunity to go to a Gay Forum at BYU this week. Unfortunately, since Jeff works nights, I had to take Maddie with me to the forum, and we got off to a late start. After getting there just a little late, this is what we found:

Every door was packed to capacity. Kind of a fire hazard, but luckily no one forced anyone to leave. After doing my best to stand in the hall and listen to what was being said, I still didn't hear anything, and a few people looked a little annoyed with how much babbling maddie was doing. 

But, when I got home my awesome friend, emily, directed me to this website which has a somewhat written transcript of the event: http://thestudentreview.org/2012/04/04/liveblogging-the-byu-panel-of-gay-students/

But if you're not willing to check out the transcript, let me give you the low-down: 1 bisexual and 3 openly gay BYU students explained each of their stories growing up and how they came to realize their same gender attraction. 

Some key points that really touched me:

-They emphasized that they never "chose" to have same-sex attraction, and that their attraction was as much a part of who they were as being heterosexual would be for anyone else.
- They brought awareness to how common this is: "6% of the general population is gay
What that means is that at BYU, 1800 gay students. in every ward there are 15 gay kids and in a class of 50 there are 3".

- Each of the students testified that their faith had grown so much stronger and that they felt peace that God loves them for who they are. 

This is a topic that is really near and dear to my heart. Ever since I can remember I've been surrounded by gay friends and family. The idea that anyone would choose to have same-sex attraction is about as ridiculous as saying that I chose to be attracted to Jeff. 

Overall, I was really impressed by how many BYU students were supportive of LBGT students. When Jeff and I were applying to graduate school, we recieved a lot of criticism from graduate schools about being mormon. Professors would be concerned that because we were mormon we would refuse to counsel gay clients. 

My biggest hope is that more mormons can educate themselves on this topic and preach Christ-like acceptance and love so that we can shed the homophobic stereotype that the rest of the country views us as.

"All of Heavenly Father's children desire to love and be loved... some people with same-gender attraction have felt rejected because members of the Church did not always show love. No member of the Church should ever be intolerant," (Official Church Pamphlet, "God Loveth His Children, 2007).

ps - still wanting to know more? check out this website: http://farbetweenmovie.com/

"what about Jeff?"

Poor Jeff. I so obviously abuse him.

Ever since being accepted into Saint Louis University, I've had a lot of different reactions from different people. Jeff jumped up and down and started telling everyone he knew, my mother burst into tears, and I just kind of sat there saying "crraaap, now we have to move."

However, the majority of people keep saying "wow, that's great. What about Jeff? Is he going to grad school?"
It didn't bother me at first, after all, our goal has always been to go to grad school together. (and before you ask me what about Jeff - He is taking a year to work and help us settle into Saint Louis before applying to SLU.)

But then a thought popped into my head... if the roles were reversed, would someone ever ask Jeff "what about Amber?"

Would everyone be as concerned for me going to grad school? Is it such a crazy idea that I might have more education than my husband? Would we be classifiably insane if he was the stay-at home dad?
The decision to have me begin school before Jeff seemed so naturally to us. I've always been really into school and learning, while Jeff is a much harder worker than I am. So what is it about our situation that makes everyone do a double-take?

Keeping up with the Molly Mormon Moms

Just to warn, this is a venting post. Feel free not to read if you're looking for something about how wonderful life is.

  Ever since becoming pregnant, I've noticed a trend. A majority of the women I knew from BYU who got pregnant all had the same image: a dewy glow, they somehow managed only to gain weight directly in their bellies and maintained sticks for legs and arms, a perfect new wardrobe full of maternity clothes, and a professional maternity photo shoot to make them look even more amazing.

(*those who managed to be honest and realistic about pregnancy - thank you. It helped me a lot)

  Here's what I had during my pregnancy: a new pair of stretchy pants... and I stretched out my old wardrobe with my giant belly (along with other giant body parts.) Because the truth is? Pregnancy wasn't perfect and dewy and glowy! I loved it, but I didn't have the money for the perfect clothes or the perfect photo shoot. 

  Now that Madison's here, a new phenomenon is surfacing... All the same women have perfect newborn photo shoots and meticulous brand-new outfits for their perfect babies, featuring pictures of themselves magically fitting into their fabulous pre-pregnancy jeans 2 days after giving birth.

   Here's what I have: a new camera (which I am so incredibly grateful for), cute hand-me-down outfits from people who loved and supported us, and a post-partum body that still doesn't quite fit into my old jeans. Shocker.

  I have to keep reminding myself that it's ok to not be perfect. Madison doesn't know the difference between professional pictures, and my attempt to act like a professional photographer. And the hand-me-down clothes are just as cute as the brand-new ones. Maybe one day I'll get my pre-pregnancy body back, but until then It's ok to look the way I do.

Besides, with a baby this cute, who needs a professional photographer? 

anyone else have any similar stories? PLEASE let me know! Maybe if we could all admit that we're not perfect it would be a little easier to stop trying to keep up with each other.