Floods and Lost Keys

Another day, another crisis.

Yesterday it was a flash flood. We only got hit with about 1/2 of water inside our house, but umm... that should not be normal. All my Missouri friends were like "well, at least it wasn't a tornado!", and I kept thinking, "PEOPLE. Why are we having to choose between a TORNADO or a FLOOD in any place other than sim city? THIS IS NOT NORMAL."

See, in Oregon, it rains all the time, but because we're used to the rain we have something called "working drains" that actually clear the water away from towns and cities. Also, all of our coniferous trees (never heard of it? It's all I learned about in middle school science class) work to suck up the water and keep the soil strong.

Anyways...

Today I decided to go to the mall. It has been 3 years since I bought myself a pair of shorts, and now that I live in the sweaty, muggy armpit that is humidity, MO, I am long overdue to wear normal summer weather clothes. While at the mall, I thought to myself, "man, this is nice. I should do this more often. Maddie is finally at an age where she can actually sit well in her stroller and I can buy something that won't be covered in baby vomit ten minutes later."
That was my first mistake, thinking the day was going well. I jinxed myself. ten minutes later, maddie grabbed my car keys and hid them in a tub of clearance soap at bath and body works.

Don't worry, I found them... 2 hours and 4 panicked phone calls later. (talk about a great workout - I circled the mall five times before finding them.)

This is how the conversation went with mall employees:

"Hi, my daughter got a hold of my keys and threw them out of her stroller, and now I'm searching for them. Can I leave my phone number with you in case you happen to find them in your store?"

mall employee: looks at me with a blank stare "you let your baby have your keys?"

me: "yeah, I know. Bad idea."

Mall employee: "what do the keys look like?"

me: "They have a bunch of keys on them, a pink rape whistle, and a mini elephant toy." (true story. My keys are the coolest)

mall employee "OK, but they're definitely not here. I bet you they're at [insert random store here]. The employees there are really cluttered and dirty."

So now I know that mall employees (1) are super judgmental about babies/toddlers, and (2) have secret feuds with other stores in the mall. Who knew?

My little trouble maker.